Anonymous from Western Canada, continued...

" I was 11 years old. I remember his green truck.  I remember where he took me. I remember him removing my clothing.  I remember him telling me stuff a child should never be told.  I remember his filthy, despicable touching and then the unspeakable violation of being raped.   I remember as if it was yesterday.  It was horrible then and it is still a horrible image in my mind.  He stole something from me as a child – that is what a perpetrator does whether it is by direct physical contact or fantasizing in his mind through child pornography/images.  That is why I call it the ‘rape of a soul’ because the victim is being violated at the very core of their humanity and self worth.

I remember running away from him when he was finished with me.  I was scared and alone and that is how perpetrators want their victims to feel.  Today when I hear people who are not educated about the trauma of abuse say ‘get over it’, it makes me feel scared and alone all over again.  To the survivor it can sound like people are protecting the perpetrator and have little or no compassion for the injury done to the real victims – the children of abuse.  That is another reason why victim/survivors have difficulty breaking the silence.

When I found my voice and broke my silence that was the door to recovery and freedom.  I am so grateful for a friend who stood by me, listened to my story, believed me and reaffirmed to me that although ‘broken’, I still had value.  My life had purposes and meaning.   I am grateful for a community of faith and a personal belief that God could pick up my broken pieces and make something beautiful of this broken vessel.  And He has.  That hope and peace gave me strength in the midnight of my journey.

I am grateful that as a victim/survivor I am now an overcomer.  For every emotional scar I carry it is a reminder that my perpetrator no longer holds me in his power.  Every scar reminds me that a healing has taken place.  Because of that I can walk with others in their journey to a restoration of wholeness and hope. 

To other victims I encourage you to find your voice, break your silence, embrace the future with hope.  Our value is not measured by what was done to us but what can be done through us now.